personal musings

LifeFlight

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January 29th was the two year anniversary of my car accident.

On my way home from work one evening I lost control of my vehicle on black ice on a dark country road. My car smashed into an oak tree. I had to be life flighted to an ER.

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The night of the accident I had hypothermia, received an extreme brain injury which caused short-term memory loss (I do not remember the night of the accident, I must go by the police reports), my skull was fractured, along side fracturing my left eye socket in three places, and a nasal passage. My jaw was also fractured and knocked out of place, I broke two teeth, glass penetrated and scared the left side of my face, my left scapula was fractured, my aorta was torn, three ribs broken, lacerated spleen, and a broken pelvis. I had to have three surgeries. The doctors believed I would pass at any time.

I spent one month in the hospital and was in therapy twice a week for 4-5 months after – physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy. I could barely walk without a cane, I couldn’t lay on my left side, couldn’t lift my arms higher than my head. It was painful to even smile and kiss my husband. At one point I did not understand that the sky was blue, I thought eggs were green, I didn’t even know I was married, and each day I thought I was a different age (I believed I was 5, 8, etc.).

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I am not saying any of this to have anyone endure a sob story. And I am not telling tales of my past to gloat in anything I myself have accomplished. I am saying this for one purpose only – to praise God for where I am today.

I healed faster than any of my doctors or therapists thought I would. My husband and I have a stronger and more stable relationship. I have a stronger relationship with my parents as well, and with my Heavenly Father.

Six months after this car wreck my husband and I conceived our first and now our daughter is 8 months old, healthy as can be.

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The pregnancy though was another issue entirely due to the permanent injuries I received from the car wreck. I was high risk – I had to take beta blockers throughout the pregnancy and I had monthly echocardiograms in order for the doctors to keep an eye on the aorta tear. I was forced to give birth by cesarean section because of the weak heart I now have because of the car accident and due to the fracture in my pelvis healing incorrectly making my pelvis too small. I was told going into labor would be fatal. But the Lord kept me safe throughout that experience as well!

Truth be told, I did not see any good in the car wreck during that time. I wasn’t thankful. I wasn’t happy at all. I was going through extreme depression throughout the healing experience. The Lord DID have plans set, a purpose behind all the hardships I went through. But just as most people, I didn’t see it. I did not want to see it. I was miserable. And yet the Lord continued working in my life to lead me to where I am right here, right now.

We never want to hear people say “there is always a reason” or anything to that effect, especially when we feel so much pain. Well, it may be difficult to hear when things seem to be at their worst, but it is so true!

It wasn’t until after the pregnancy that my heart became tender toward the Lord again and I realized what all He brought me through, the plans He had set, the purpose behind it all, and how I was even still being so blessed.

I may have troubles in various ways just about everyday due to the injuries I received, but I am about 95% my old self. I do not believe I will ever be fully my old self again. That part of me is gone. And good riddance! That part of me was no good. And it took a fatal car wreck for me to give it up.

So I praise God! This was an absolute miracle, and I give my Saviour all the honor and glory for it.

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